Blood ang Guts
by cnohero
Summary: An interpretation of what applying to medical school may have been like for Edward. Set in the 80's. A little R&R would be tubular man.
1. Chapter 1

"Blood and guts"

**Disclaimer: The characters and their characteristics, and anything to do with Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer. **

Edward's POV

The first time I went to medical school I was accepted right away. There was very little preparation. I already had excellent grades a few applications, an interview and I was in. But times change, now that physicians are making more money everyone wants to go to medical school. A 4.0 GPA is not enough anymore, oh no, you need volunteer experience, leadership skills, medical experience, and of course multiple letters of recommendation.

When Carlisle asked me to go back to medical school I had agreed without giving it too much thought. I had really enjoyed all the things I had learned the first time. I knew he needed me to help; I would pass on all the new information I learned, and he would become a better doctor. It was important to him and it was the least I could do considering all he had done for me.

I flipped through the pile of papers I had to fill out, and sighed, this was going to be very tedious. It really did not matter where I was accepted; we could move we did it all the time. But we had only been living in Maine a few months and I knew that my family would like to settle down for a while. It was cloudy enough, and living near Arcadia national park had its perks in terms of hunting. I felt myself smile as I remembered outrunning Emmett to feast on a bear he had been eyeing from the cliff we had been scouting from. He had been so angry he had thrown a boulder at me and inadvertently squished my meal. Rosalie needled him about being a poor sport once we returned home. It was not the fact that I had beaten him that I enjoyed the most it was extra-competitive side that it awakened in Emmett. I would have to watch my back, not that he could sneak up on me with my mind reading abilities, but he would be ready to out best me at whatever activities we do in the next few weeks.

Enough daydreaming, I had paperwork to do. The list of required classes was no real obstacle I had taken more than the required course work. I figured that my GPA might make up for my lack of leadership roles. It was very difficult to be student body president when your existence depended on keeping a low profile. I had dutifully endured meeting with the science club, and other academic organization so that should take care of my extracurricular activities. It was difficult to modulate my strength enough to play sports, but thanks to my extra talents I had earned a strong standing on the debate team. It was very beneficial to know an opponent's defending arguments before they even spoke them. That left only a few more sections that I had to account for. I paused; I reread the section on the letters of recommendation. Three letters were required, two had to be from physicians not just any physician, but from physicians whom you had shadowed for medical experience. One letter would be easy enough one of the perks to having a doctor in the family but the second letter… that could be a problem.

"Jasper…Carlisle!" I took the stair two at a time to Carlisle's office. Jasper having heard my call, slipped in quietly behind me.

"Edward?" Carlisle put down his book and turned in his chair expectantly.

"I need some help…. some help with my medical school applications." I hated to ask for help, but there was little I could do without them.

Jasper snorted. _Then what do you need me for? I've never been to medical school. _. He held his hands up defensively as thoughts of being near humans rolled through his mind. The idea of Jasper in a hospital made me shudder internally.

"We might need your services in forging some documents." I handed the application to Jasper and pointed at the fine print at the bottom of the page.

"Hmmm" Jasper drummed his fingers against his smooth chin, as he considered the problem. "Forging a letter from a doctor? This could be interesting."

"May I?" Carlisle extended his hand politely and Jasper handed him the application. His eyes zipped across the application, and then he sighed. "We can not forge the letters, Edward."

I felt my eyebrows rise, "Uh… why?"

"I received a call about a young man I wrote a letter for a few months ago. If a school is seriously considering accepting you it is likely that they may contact your references"_ If they find that you lied on your application, they certainly will not accept you_. Carlisle placed the application directly in the middle of his desk and riffled through some folders in the corner.

"Did you know it would be this difficult when you asked me to apply? Why doesn't Rosalie apply again?" I was annoyed; it felt that I was being asked to complete an impossible task. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jasper slip out the door, he must have felt the frustration rolling off of me.

"I knew it would be challenging, that is why I asked _you_," he said looking intently into my eyes. My annoyance began to quell and I realized he had chosen me over Rosalie for a reason. He thought I was up to the task. "My associate Dr. Randolph, who works in the ER with me, has agreed to let you shadow, and write a letter. Edward, you will have to shadow in the hospital with real patients."

I swallowed reflexively. "With real injured people? And… and with blood?"

"That is a possibly," Carlisle leaned back in his chair. _I understand if you have changed your mind, if you do not want to do it. _

"No, I'll do it." The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. I could not let Carlisle down.

"I'll call Dr. Randolph," he picked up the folder again and reached for the bulky phone.

I sank to a chair and my mind spun. I had heard Carlisle's thoughts of some of the things he had seen at the hospital. A pit of dread filled my stomach at the idea of being so close to humans, around open wounds, and bags of donated blood. The idea of even touching a human filled me with a sense of panic. I expended a lot of effort in avoiding physical contact with humans, what would they think about my cold touch? What would the monster inside me do in this new environment? When I was home with my family I felt normal amongst my own kind there was nothing to awaken the thirst in me. At school in my college classes I was an oddity, no matter how normal I tired to be, no matter how human I acted I still felt like a vampire. I still had the cravings, and I had to be on guard at all times.

"Tuesday," I heard Carlisle say. He was no longer talking on the phone.

"What did you say?" Had I heard that right?

"Tuesday, Edward," he repeated. _It will be okay both Dr. Randolph and I work in the ER that day. You will not be alone with the humans_.

_Tuesday… black Tuesday,_ I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

"Preparation" – Chapter 2-

Edwards POV

"Where are my curlers? Alice, I know you have them! You don't even have enough hair to curl! Why would you want them anyway?" Rosalie thundered down the hall towards Alice's room.

"Why would you need your stupid curlers? It's not like your hair could get any bigger, honestly! Have you seen yourself lately? Its embarrassing having a sister with the biggest hair on campus." Alice met Rosalie directly in the hall in front of my bedroom door. _These stupid hair styles of the 80's! I mean how could Rosalie follow trends so blindly_, Alice thought derisively.

"You little rat! You hid them on purpose!" Rosalie's voice radiated through my bedroom door. I rolled across the leopard print rug I was laying on, to turn up the volume on my boom box. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to focus on the lyrics of the Duran Duran song in an attempt to tune out my sister's furious thoughts.

"Girls! Girls, what is going on?" Esme's voice cut through the scuffling sounds coming from the hall.

Alice and Rosalie both shouted their side of the story overlapping each other's voices, making both arguments unintelligible.

"She's trying to ruin my life!" Rosalie wailed.

_Hmm,_ I thought to myself. _What life would that be?_

"No, I'm trying to save you from future humiliation. I've seen it Rosalie! Ugh! Gag me with a spoon! Next year your hair style will be totally bogus. You will cringe in horror when you realize how heinous you look. Just like when you wore bell bottoms, remember the yearbook picture!" Alice was hitting way below the belt with that comment. A loud crash against the adjacent wall sent books, music sheets, and pictures tumbling from my bedroom shelves.

_Oh-ho, did she just say…_Rosalie fumed

_Wow, I have not seen her this mad since Emmett broke her air ratchet ! I wonder what she will do when she finds out what I did to her hair crimper? It's only fair, after she acid washed my jean jacket! _Alice was looking for revenge.

"Edward! A little help here?" Esme pleaded.

With a sigh I rolled to my feet, walked across the room and opened my door. Rosalie pinned Alice to the floor. She gripped Alice's neck with both hands, a maddened look in her eyes. In turn Alice had seized large handfuls of Rosalie's hair and pulled roughly. Esme was pulling at Rosalie's fingers trying to get her to release Alice.

"You are so dead!," Rosalie hissed.

"Too late," Alice grinned devilishly.

"Stop it, Rose! Now!" Esme insisted.

We pulled them up and I wedged myself between my sisters forcing Rosalie to release Alice. Esme wrapped her arms around Rosalie and pulled her away. Alice pushed against my back trying to get pass me to ready to deliver a payback. Rosalie beckoned with her fingers taunting Alice whose arms reached around me throwing futile punches into the air.

"Let it go," I hissed.

I heard the sound of car doors slamming and knew that reinforcements had arrived at last. The front door banged open, and foot steps ascended the stairs.

_Not again!_

_Dude, we left poor Edward home alone with the girls, that it seriously ill. _

"Alice! Rosalie get a hold of yourselves! This is completely uncalled for." Carlisle planted himself between the warring glares of the two contenders.

"Everyone downstairs now!" Esme used her authoritative 'mother' voice.

"What did we do?" whined Emmett, gesturing at Jasper and himself. He was rewarded by an icy glare that quickly stopped his protests.

Once downstairs Alice and Rosalie pointedly sat on opposite sides of the room. Jasper sat next to Alice and cradled a large gray box with a rainbow colored apple on the side. He held it protectively, eyeing Alice cautiously. The reason for the trip to town was to retrieve his computer from the repair shop, and he was clearly afraid it would come to harm as a result of Alice's cloudy mood. I sat on the green vinyl footstool opting to avoid taking sides on the matter. This was so silly what was the big deal about? Rosalie and Alice quarreled occasionally, but it was nothing compared to the fights that had occurred between the males of the house. Esme and Carlisle were in the kitchen talking about what to do with their unruly 'children.' I don't know why they bothered we could all hear them anyway. Rosalie tapped her stiletto heel restlessly against the floor and I heard Alice's thoughts bridle in reaction. Jasper pressed one hand against his temple, the tension in the room was palpable to everyone. Emmett carefully placed his hand on Rosalie's knee to stop the tapping.

Carlisle and Esme entered the room, and instantly had everyone's attention.

"For the past few months," Carlisle began, "You have _all_ been…impossible. Squabbling and bickering over the simplest of things. The next time we move…" he paused for dramatic effect, I shuddered as I heard the verdict roll through his mind. "You will all attend High School once again." He was answered with an audible groan that tore from all our throats. "We knew you were getting tired of it, so we let you enroll in college this time around. But it is not working out. When you all attend high school together, you also work together. You are more united, and more tolerant of each other's short comings. Unless…you can prove that you can behave yourselves" He was giving us an opportunity to redeem ourselves, and I prayed that Alice and Rosalie would resolve their differences quickly.

"In the mean time," Carlisle continued. "Alice and Rosalie you two need to learn to get along."

"So we have a task that you will both work on together," Esme finished. "You will set up a service project that Edward will use for his application to medical school. You will find an appropriate project, make all the preparations, and assist your brother in carrying out this project. In fact you will _all_ participate in carrying out the service project."

"What?" shrieked Rosalie. "We have to do _his_ work for him?"

"It's not just for Edward. It is for this whole family. And it will help us make up for some of our… errors." Her head turned slightly, reflexively towards Emmett.

_Will I ever live that down? It was years ago…well okay a few months ago, and it was an accident._ Emmett's thoughts were filled with self loathing. And I feeling of sympathy welled up inside me.

"Why don't we do two projects? Rosalie can do one, and I can do another one. Then Edward will have two projects to use on his applications." Alice glared at the floor in front of the couch, where Rosalie was sitting.

"Yeah, and then we can have a contest to see who's project is the boss!" Trust Emmett to turn this into a competition.

"No, no, no. That is _not_ the point!" Esme shook her head in exasperation. "The point is for you to work TO-GETHER. There is no compromise on this and that is final." Esme did not normally have much of a temper; she was usually so patient. I could hear how much it hurt her when we fought. All of that anguish was coming out in her voice.

Jasper must have noticed too because he said, "alright, well lets get started. I'll go set up my computer and you can use it to brain storm ideas."

Alice and Rosalie stared at each other in defeat. Emmett trudged toward the stairs pulling Rosalie after him.

I stood in anticipation of leaving the room, but Carlisle's thought stopped me. _Edward stay, we have more to talk about. _My siblings rapidly disappeared from the living room.

"Esme will go hunting with you."_ Its best if you are not at all thirsty when we go to the hospital this afternoon. _

I nodded and walked calmly to the door.

* * *

**  
**

Despite the overcast sky and the thick air it had not rained in several weeks, the ground was too dry to distinguish any animal tracks. This left me to using my sense of smell to find my prey. Not a problem since my sense of smell was much better suited for hunting anyway, but I was impatient to finish this hunting trip. Esme's thoughts were full of worry and it made me even more nervous, about the evening's scheduled events..

"It will be okay," I don't know who she was trying to reassure me or herself. "Edward, if it gets too hard just go outside and get some fresh air. Take a break, Carlisle does not expect you to push yourself too far."

"I know Esme, I've been a vampire longer than you have," my voice was harsher than I meant for it to be. Esme looked away, and her thoughts were full of hurt. "I'm sorry," I whispered, "I know your just trying to help."

"You're right, you don't need my advice. I just worry that's all."

I caught the scent of a heard of elk and guided us in that general direction. Who would have thought that sweet motherly Esme would drink blood as though it were going out of style. It was another sick and twisted aspect of this reality that was our existence.

"Edward…when you are at the hospital, and well, if you decide to spend much time in the hospital…"

"Yes, Esme?" We were on our way home, after I had ensured I was so full that I would have no desire to drink any blood, not even if I mountain lion crossed our path.

_If you ever meet a girl… a girl your interested in…_

"Stop!" I did not want Esme to continue to think like this. "Don't you remember what happened last time! I could never put anyone through that." I remembered how disappointed Esme had been when the planned relationship for me and Rosalie had not worked out.

"But Edward if a person was going to die anyway?"

"No," I insisted. " I know you're worried about me being lonely, but I'm not. I am just fine, I don't need that… not like the others."

Esme sighed_, I'm sorry, I just want you to be happy Edward_.

"I know, but don't worry about me I'm fine."

**A/N I decided to se this story in 80's since that might have been a time period in which Edward may have attended medical school. So some of the dialog, and references may seem a little strange, that's because the slang of that time was really silly. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I have no claim to any references to Twilight. And of course I have no ties to General Hospital.**

I prepared to walk down the stairs, feeling very self-conscious. I peered over the stair railing cautiously. Shortly after I came home and finished cleaning up, Alice brought me the clothes I was to wear at the hospital. I had seen scrubs worn on some daytime soap opera that Alice watched obsessively. I cringed at the chaos the daytime drama created in our house.

Last week there had been an altercation between Alice and Emmett. Alice was watching General_ Hospital_, but was interrupted by Emmett. Emmett insisted that a particular NASCAR race was on, that was going to make history, and therefore his viewing choice should have priority. Jasper came to Alice's aide as soon as he felt her distress. In the end Alice was able to watch her soap since; Emmett was preoccupied with defending himself from Jasper. That was the day we lost the new kitchen table, and the purple chandelier in the foyer. The next day Esme bought an additional television as well as another VCR. I was positive that no other household in the whole state of Maine that had two VCRs. Our attempts to be like a normal family were all in vain, I realized

The scrubs were comfortable, but I felt awkward, like I was going out in public in my pajamas, not that I wore pajamas. I owned one pair, that Alice had purchased on a whim. I had never even worn them. I did not sleep so I had not had occasion to.

If I could sleep, I doubted I would sleep very well in this hospital uniform, pockets in front and in the back of the pant, and compartmentalized pocket on the front of the shirt. The pant legs were gathered at the bottom with elastic, which slipped over the top of my Reebok High tops. The scrubs were blue, which was fine, but they had colorful geomantic shapes printed in random areas throughout the material. Purple triangles, Yellow half circles, and an orange shape that looked like a brush stroke painted by someone who was having a seizure. The sleeves were short leaving more of my pale skin exposed, the shoulders felt abnormally thick. After a little bit of adjusting I realized that shoulder pads had been sew into the sleeves. I quickly removed the shirt, and ripped them out before putting it back on. Needless to say this outfit was not very flattering. If it did not look good on me, did they look good on anyone else? Vain thoughts I know, but it _was_ the truth.

Alice came from her room carrying something white.

"What's the story about these?" I asked waving the shoulder pads in her face.

Alice snickered, and took the offending material from my hand. "I think they are supposed to make your shoulders look broader." She held up a jacket of sorts gesturing for me to put my arms in the sleeves. "It's a lab coat," she responded to the confused look on my face.

I sighed and let her slip on the coat. "I don't feel like I look very…professional."

_It's not that bad Edward, you kind of look like Dr. Jones._ Alice's memory of the doctor portrayed on TV did little to reduce my anxiety.

"Wouldn't it be awesome if we could change the channel without getting up?" Emmett asked. He was slouched low in a chair, with his feet propped on the vinyl footstool.

"Oh, _please_, could you be any more lazy?" Jasper snorted.

Carlisle emerged from the kitchen, with his own white coat draped over his arm. "Edward lets go," he called.

I gritted my teeth and allowed myself to continue my descent down the stairs.

Upon my appearance, Jasper burst into explosive laughter. Emmett slid off the chair as he sputtered. "Well, look at you! Dude you look well… you look like a rainbow."

Jasper snickered, and covered his face with one hand, while shaking with mirth.

I rolled my eyes at their amusement. _I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you look. It's what all the staff wears. What you're wearing is the least of our worries._ I saw that Carlisle was more worried about my behavior than my appearance

I was not exactly reassured by Carlisle's thoughts, and then I noticed something else. "Hey, you never wear these… these whatever they are! When you go to work!" I exclaimed, gestured meaningfully at my attire, and then eyeing Carlisle's buttoned shirt and tie.

"That is because I am an attending," he justified. "Everyone wears scrubs so they do not ruin their good clothes, when they get soiled."

Emmett snickered, "Edward's going to get soiled." He was picturing me covered from head to toe with the contents of a bedpan.

"You shouldn't be late," Esme appeared from the kitchen. She walked over to me and straightened the collar of my lab coat. "I think you look like a very professional and skilled doctor."

I did my best to smile, at her attempt to make me feel better; I sighed and made for the garage. "I'm driving," I muttered.

"Kick butt!" Jasper said, sending a feeling of encouraging emotion towards me. However, he was still amused by my appearance, and accidentally let that infiltrate the emotions. I found myself chuckling as turned the door knob.

Through Emmett's mind I saw Carlisle kiss Esme on the forehead and follow me through the door.

* * *

Carlisle's thoughts were still with Esme, and her hopes, as I drove my Pontiac Firebird towards the hospital.

"It would be wrong, you know," I broke the silence.

_What would be wrong?_

"To change someone again, the way you did before… with Rosalie." I focused on the road as I said this. I was confident I could voice my opinion on the subject because Carlisle knew how to hide thoughts from me if he did not want me to know about them. I still did not want to look him in the eye when blatantly disagreed with Esme. "I know Esme wants you to do it, to try to find someone for me, but I don't want it. Not like that."

"I know, and you're right it would be wrong. Unless I knew you had feelings for the person, I would not change anyone like that… not again." _If a woman were bound to die regardless and you had ANY feelings towards her?_

"It would still be better to let her die," I insisted. "It's not fair to take a choice like that from someone. It may be more of a blessing to die."

_Do you wish that I…?_

I cut his thought off quickly. "No, no, you did what you thought was right. I am glad to have known you, Esme and the rest of the family; I wouldn't take a different route if it were offered to me. But that's just it, it must be a choice." I turned the car into the parking lot and exited the car hoping to discontinue the conversation.

To my relief Carlisle did not think more on the subject as we walked, at a human pace, through the newly installed mechanical doors.

"Oh, Dr. Cullen," a nurse with claw-like bangs dropped a manila folder, as our entrance caught her by surprise. _Why do I always have to look like and idiot in front of him? I am such a goober! _I felt a smile cover my face, and I looked into her wide eyes with amusement.

"Good evening Tiffany," Carlisle said kindly as he retrieved the lost documents, seemingly oblivious to her disoriented state. "This is Edward he will be helping us out today," He gestured in my direction.

The nurse stared at me too distracted to notice that Carlisle was holding the fold out towards her. He patiently cleared her throat, and she snapped out of her trance and meekly took the folder. A pink flush colored her cheeks, as she realized she had been staring. I felt my mouth fill with venom, and quickly, looked away from the flustered nurse.

"Oh, ah… it's been a little slow so far, but the night is still young, I was just taking this to admitting. We have to admit the patient from the ER so I'll just take the chart to admitting, yeah, I'll just go there… now, to admitting I mean." She began to walk down the hallway still looking back at us, and nearly ran into a cart filled with lunch trays.

_It's best if you don't smile at them AND look them in the eye at the same time. It distracts them. Be pleasant, but not too friendly, save the dazzling for the patients who are in pain._ Carlisle's' thoughts felt like a reprimand, rather than advice, but I barely noticed. He was opening a door that was labeled "Emergency Department Staff Entrance." _Be ready_ he cautioned.

Upon walking through the doorway I was assaulted by a blitz of human scents. The air was saturated with particles of sour smelling sweat, urine, feces, vomit and of course… sweet, oh how very sweet…blood. _Ahh..._

Venom filled my mouth too quickly to allow me to swallow, so it overflowed into my lungs making me cough. "Carlisle," I gasped softly so that only he could hear.

"Focus on the other scents; it will get easier once you're acclimated to the atmosphere." He gripped my shoulder in encouragement. "Hold your breath for a few minuets at a time, until you get used to it."

"Owiiieee, mommy! Owie," the sobs of a child made my ears rings. The sound echoed along the tiled walls, and my head spun with as my senses became even more overloaded.

"Think about resisting one person at a time," Carlisle's voice cut through the haze that filled my mind. "This is Dr. Randolph coming towards us now_." Think about what he does and says not how he smells._

A large dark haired man waddled towards us. A thick beard covered his face and his brown eyes were lost in wrinkles, as he smiled. When he grew older he would look like the human Santa Claus. "Carlisle thank the lord you're here. We got this old man from the wood who doesn't speak any English, I think he's speaking Spanish...but I don't really know what it is, just gibberish. None of us have any idea what he's going on about." He absently fingered a large silver cross; it hung from his neck on thin chain that disappeared, lost in the rolls along the back of his neck. "Oh, well, well, this must be the future medical student. I'm Dr. Randolph," He extended his hand.

_Go ahead, just don't squeeze too hard,_ Carlisle cautioned.

I shook the jovial man's hand, and nodded curiously. "Edward Cullen pleased to meet you." I wondered if he noticed the coolness of my skin, but his thoughts did not dwell on it.

_His manners are as formal as his fathers_, the doctor noted. "Going into the family business…Eh. Well we can always use the help. Are you ready to show us what you're made of?" He pumped his fist as through he were a cheerleader at a football game.

"Yes, sir. I'm looking forward to learning from you."

"Excellent," he rubbed his hand together much like a mad scientist. "We'll make sure you have a good start before your done here."

A plump nurse with thick glasses walked between us. "Sign here," she shoved a clipboard into Dr. Randolph's hands.

He fingered the cross at his neck once again as he read the paper.

_He's very religious, says a prayer for each of his patients after he sees them._ Carlisle noticed me watching the doctor_. He truly has a desire to help people. He's quite an amazing physician, although he seems a little too exuberant sometimes._

The child who had been wailing up until now suddenly stopped. "Doctor! Doctor, quick something has happened!" A frightened voice called out and shaking nurse pulled back a floral printed curtain.

Carlisle was off like a shot, I felt my body tense up in surprise. None of the staff seemed surprised by the speed at which he arrived at the child's bedside.

"This'll have to wait, Imia" Dr. Randolph shoved the papers back at the nurse. "Come on, Eddie lets go save some lives." His large hand clasped my shoulder propelling me towards the bed.

I dug in my heals caught by surprise and a little annoyed, by being called "Eddie". The doctor ignored this, releasing my shoulder, but gesturing me to follow. I took a deep breath and then stopped all air movement to my lungs. I shuffled to after Dr. Randolph, nervously.

Carlisle hovered over the child listening to her chest with his stethoscope. I doubted he truly needed the tool. I could tell from where I stood at the bottom of the bed, she was not breathing.

_Oh, god. No, no, no, Lisa! Oh, god I swear I'll leave him just let her breath again_. A tired looking woman clutched the little girls hand tears dripping to the white sheet. A whimper escaped her throat as she swallowed convulsively.

"Call a code blue!" Carlisle announced, "She's not breathing and her heart has stopped."

Suddenly chaos erupted in the emergency department.

**A/N: I've never actually seen _General Hospital_, but I did get in a lot of fights with my babysitter (who watched it obsessively) because it came on at the same time as _Thundercats_. Yes… I was a child of the 80s…have pity on me. Ahem… anyway everything I learned about the show I got from wikepedia so I hope that any of the _GH _fans won't be upset if I am not totally accurate.**


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